Why Validation of Feelings Matter?

We all have feelings and relationships are about feelings.

We feel happy, and then we feel sad.  We feel many different things over the course of

our lifetime.  When we bump into the right person, at the right time, we'll make the

decision to share our thoughts and feelings with that person, in the hope that they will reciprocate.

If the significant other decides not to validate our feelings, then we can be left feeling devalued,

as a person.

WHEN we express ourselves to our particular partner, we need to know if that person cares about

how we feel.

THIS  is just cold hard logical thinking, and it is important that we always remember to

heed the things we are told by our friends, since they are taking the time and energy to tell us about those

things.

What are we looking for in a love

The most impotant thing - the ONE thing.


What's the top priority of importance when searching for a life-long partner?
Do I yearn for pretty, smart and good personality, sexy, or otherwise. Good chemistry? Good communication?
Nice legs?
Maybe I would prefer someone who knows how to cook? This is always a plus.  Why spend money going to the restaurant? Possibly allof the above would be great but where on earth would I start to look for this woman?

Th large question was posed to me recently, and it made me stop what I was doing, and I had to give some serious thought t.  What I think is that a relationship is just like building a house.  I need to build our house on a strong foundation.

One of the foundations of any relationship is trust. If we are making for a strong committment, we need to trust in the words we hear and speak to our partner.  If I can not trust this woman and vice versa, then things will quickly become shakey with just a very short time.

So now that little slice of business is taken care of we can move on.

Now there's the issue of chemistry and or communication.  Is there excitement in being together with the person that I choose. I look for a partner where her and I will have good chemistry and good communication, in order that our house (of love) will be standing solidly for some time.


In a relationship there's always things that need to worked out.
And so how well we can communicate and exchange ideas, is also very important.

Personally I like performing Improv in front of a live theatre audience.
I love to write and sing.
Can Ms/ Jane Doe (where ever you are) appreciate this art form that I love so much?
Or does she think it dumb and useless?

Does Ms. Jane Doe have any artistic abilites herself.. This would be helpful.
A good listener would be good to know.  Then we can have long talks about all kinds of things and never be bored with one another.

Also I would look for a good sense of humour.  Very important point that Ms. Jane Doe has a very solid sense of humour.  After all, what is life about if we can not sit back and laugh at the whole absurd dance we do.

Now there remains a few minor details to be worked out later, but nothing of a major kind.

Oh yes kind, considerate and understanding,

with a great capacity for compassionan & empathy.

Well that just about covers my partner checklist.

Thanks for checking out my blog.

Sincerely,

Howard S. Buchin

When to Act

Knowing when it's time to act.

I wonder sometimes....most of the time

When is it time to pull the plug on your relationship?  Hopefully you never have to face that decision
as many of us have had to do.  When you feel that your physical and mental health is at risk because you've entered into a relationship that is not healthy, and you are not happy.

Some have suggested the use of a blank sheet of paper divided into two sections, one indicating the things that work and the other, the things which are not working.

Once you begin to realize that you are in the wrong relationship, then the sooner that you act the better.  I liken it to taking a long journey and travellng down a long and winding road. The farther you may go, the longer the distance back.  So if this is the case, that means you don't want to go too too far, in case you have set out down the wrong path, since the way back is not easy.

I have travelled some of these long and tremulous pathways throughout my life. At times I've wondered why I chose how I did, and then at other times, I didn't wonder but thanked my lucky stars for landing with that special someone.

It is never too late to find love.  It is never too early to leave a relationship that is only a facade.  MY motto is, that once you come to realize the woman you are with is not the woman that you love, the sooner you get out, the better.

Women wish to be adored and loved for the special beings they are, and if you don't wish to cherish and appreciate every inch of her, then it is better to not go any where near her (it;s is kind of like a No-Fly Zone).

Relationship Guru 

 

  What is the best thing about Valentine's?

Right now  there is not anything that is the best about Valentine's since I do not have one.  It is nice to reminisce at times and think about some of my past loves and where they might be and so forth.  But then again, there is little point in thinking about them since they are more than likely not thinking about me.

Love is the greatest gift on this earth, but it is also the most elusive.  As soon as you think that you've found it, it can slip through your fingers and it's gone.  One day you can be as happy as pie, and suddenly things can change.  

Love has been a tough one for me.  It seems that as soon as I think that I've found it, something gets in the way, and so forth.

Love has framed both the best and worst times in my life.  The highpoints where I'd met that special someone, and the other times when that person (& I) ended the relationship and we made other plans.

Valentines a wondrous time for many who are involved in a relationship, and for those that are still looking for Love, it can be a sad time, and a time for wishing upon a star, that there will be a special someone who might come along one day.

I don't like to think of the possibility that there is nobody out there for me, or that special someone.  I know she is there but I just have to find her. She has to be there!  I hope she will show up one day.

!

August 07 2014

Starting a New Relationship

I wish for everyone to find yourself lucky,
when it comes down to a relationship.

I