Today is January 31st, 2025.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year!!

I AM FORGING AHEAD with my Human Rights & other matters,

 and all associated matters.

Cheers to everyone who has followed me on this Blog!  

Including Melissa!

I think that is a great name!

"Life is complicated! Get used to it!!" That is what my Professor told me!!

I have never  before experienced a chemical Fire!

I have gotten over it.  

I wish you all a happy time of it in 2025 .!!

Howard Buchin

 

A

 I plan to begin to have a peer group.  If you are interested in attending please leave your email address on my Blog or send me a message to howardbuchin@bell.net. I shall be organizing this as a weekly event for anyone who may be interested?

Thank you for your interest!!

  am now posted on the B.I.S.T. 

Website.

https://bist.ca/art/2022-expressive-art-show/howard-buchin/

https://bist.ca/art/2022-expressive-art-show/howard-buchin/ 

Hi there Blog Reader's,

I hope you click on my link, so you can view my Post, on the B.I.S.T. website for Brain Injury Society of Toronto.

Once there, you can check me out, as there is my BIO, and a couple of tunes which 

I have gotten posted to the B.I.S.T. website.

This month is Brain Injury Awareness Month, and today is Writer's Day!

June 10th, 2022!

Cheers, and I wish you all the best!

Beginning of a new relationship.  

I found that the most crucial part of any relationship is the starting point. To make sure that the things that are important to all the parties.

Date Guide

 

Hi Relationship Guru Blog Readers!

Howard's Relationship Guru

I have come to terms with the current global situation that exists, here and just about everywhere, 

and I have come to the conclusion that although it is very difficult for many of us,

though we are mere mortals, we've been able to survive, and up til now we are okay.

I am glad that you came to visit my site, and I hope that you enjoy some of my meanderings, while you are here.

If you wish to, please click the comment box at the bottom and suggest anything that might improve your experience for next time.

Thank you and please stay tuned for more updates, coming soon!

Thanks ,

Howard 

                             May , 2020

I have not updated my Blog in quite some time, and there is many reasons for this, but I will not bore you with the details.

This years has been called difficult, a great hardship, a great challenge in the way of this Pandemic Virus that has arrived from somewhere, and at this time there's much that is not known, and it changes every day.

I wished to make this entry about what I had learned in terms of relationships, and at this time
I have been investigating the use of a 'Dating Plan.'

I have only just started to look into this concept, and I am not ready to make any determinations at this time.
Please feel free to offer your opinions at the bottom of this page.
Thank you very much.
Cheers,
Howard Buchin

Dec. 20th, 2019

It is Christmas and the Holidays and
it is the happiest time of year, so if you are not feeling happy, then
maybe next year!

This happy hour during the year and if I am not happy then I am out of tune with the populace.
It is time to get Happy Be Happy and just spread the happiness and joy all around the planet.
If I am unable to do that, then it is okay, because I can look forward to next year and I get another chance to choose to change my life for happiness and Joy!
Cheers
Howard Buchin

How to Decide Upon a Safe Partner

I understand I've got to find a life-mate (partner) soon. I wish to feel 'safe' around my special someone. I wish to find a partner who I can open up to without feeling nervous, if perhaps I make a serious disclosure.

I'm hoping there's someone out there who can keep things confidential.  

The one problem facing me is deciding who is safe bet, and who is not.  How can this be done, since it is mostly a trial and error type of exercise.

In the past I opened up with people (at a club, I joined), and I soon realized how large a mistake I'd made. How can I work out some kind of a strategy for determining who is safe, and who is not safe?

The answer to this one is elusive.  I have tried the trial and error approach, and that didn't seem to work.  Everyone seems to be nice, at first blush, but then a great number of people turn out to be not so nice after all.

Possibly I need to work out a planned disclosure schedule, where I may disclose one particularly embarrassing fact about myself each month, and just test the waters a little bit.

Yes I was a dishwasher once at the Organ Grinder.  Additionally I have been and newspaper delivery boy, for years when I was rather young and then in my early adulthood I restarted my paper route work.  If that is too difficult for someone to accept or without making crass comments or jokes, possibly I could go into deeper types of scenarios.

This Blog of mine is under renovation, so please stay tuned for further updates!

New Post Jul 15th, 2018

Today I have decided to update my Blog, since it has being left to lie dormant for too long without my adding or enhancing anything.

Unfortunately, tiem is of the essence and I'll sut to the chase and try to make this entry short and sweet.

As per Relationships the following needs are to be considered,
 Openness and equal communication

- Power balance  (as there's always a power struggle working beneath the surface in every relationship.

- Flexibility, since as we all know, inflexible partners make tough to jive dance partners (Line dancing is an example of this)

-Being and feeling safe. HAVING A COMFORT area within the relationship where each partner can be themselves  and let their hair down and the emotional barrier and anything else they keep up while functioning in the real world of work or social environment.

- Being open with one another, where it is okay to talk about different things on any given day, and not start WWIII

-  Place to share. Stories, remenicances, good bad and indifferent things.

-  Emotionally Available, so that one partner checking in with a mouthful of pain might be met with more than an  "come on let's talk about it and maybe you'll feel different"

- Revealing and discovering about each other and the world togerther.

-  Ease of discussing various topics

-  Of course not everything on this shopping list necessarily has to be in place, but let's just say that six or so out     
of     the eight should be a reasonable thing to aim for.

Let me know how your perfect relationship  got formed, and what was the guidelines that were used to get the flames flickering? 

 -  Be present and be all that you can for today.
Cheers

March 2018

hone: (416) 535-3847

64

Howard Singing at the Mechanic Shop

Into the Light

 Relationships Guru

I invite all readers to send me your own experience(s) within (without) a realtionship, and I shall try to comment upon your submission based upon my own experience.

I am not an expert on the subject matter, but rather I've made some decisions, which lead to my learning a great deal about relationships, which have lead to my concluding what I have indicated here re:relationships -
So send me your comments and or questions to howardbuchin@gmail.com.

I shall do my very best to address and/or answer these.

Thanks for your interest in my Blog.
Cheers,
Howard Buchin

Relationships Are Work

Love Is Improvised.

Think about what LOVE really is ….. in my opinion it's improvised.  It's about being 'in the moment.'
In the moment as it is with improvising a scene.  Suddenly it happens, and you stop questioning the why and how of it, you just must live it to the fullest and enjoy the ride.

After all it's only a moment in time, one that I find myself initmately connected with another human being. This means I'm leaving my human side vulnerable.

So I must allow someone inside of me. I have to give someone enough confidence to allow them to enter
into a deeper relationship with me, and so I need to consider these concepts.

I find this area the most difficult! It's a tougher ‘row to hoe,’ and there are potholes. I really prefer to stick to my 'comfort zone.' but this means going outside my comfort zone.

The problem is that I'm not an island. I can decide not to let anyone inside, but then my relationships will not be successful.

Over the years I've developed strong coping skills to survive, and this makes me, a 'survivor.'

I don't wish to be hurt just the same as anyone.  I understand that someone seeing my human side, opens up my frail side. I like to be strong and be the man.
 
Though I realize the quest for love is tough, it is the one quest that is worth the trouble and risk of taking,

Why Validation of Feelings Matter?

We all have feelings and relationships are about feelings.

We feel happy, and then we feel sad.  We feel many different things over the course of

our lifetime.  When we bump into the right person, at the right time, we'll make the

decision to share our thoughts and feelings with that person, in the hope that they will reciprocate.

If the significant other decides not to validate our feelings, then we can be left feeling devalued,

as a person.

WHEN we express ourselves to our particular partner, we need to know if that person cares about

how we feel.

THIS  is just cold hard logical thinking, and it is important that we always remember to

heed the things we are told by our friends, since they are taking the time and energy to tell us about those

things.

What are we looking for in a love

The most impotant thing - the ONE thing.


What's the top priority of importance when searching for a life-long partner?
Do I yearn for pretty, smart and good personality, sexy, or otherwise. Good chemistry? Good communication?
Nice legs?
Maybe I would prefer someone who knows how to cook? This is always a plus.  Why spend money going to the restaurant? Possibly allof the above would be great but where on earth would I start to look for this woman?

Th large question was posed to me recently, and it made me stop what I was doing, and I had to give some serious thought t.  What I think is that a relationship is just like building a house.  I need to build our house on a strong foundation.

One of the foundations of any relationship is trust. If we are making for a strong committment, we need to trust in the words we hear and speak to our partner.  If I can not trust this woman and vice versa, then things will quickly become shakey with just a very short time.

So now that little slice of business is taken care of we can move on.

Now there's the issue of chemistry and or communication.  Is there excitement in being together with the person that I choose. I look for a partner where her and I will have good chemistry and good communication, in order that our house (of love) will be standing solidly for some time.


In a relationship there's always things that need to worked out.
And so how well we can communicate and exchange ideas, is also very important.

Personally I like performing Improv in front of a live theatre audience.
I love to write and sing.
Can Ms/ Jane Doe (where ever you are) appreciate this art form that I love so much?
Or does she think it dumb and useless?

Does Ms. Jane Doe have any artistic abilites herself.. This would be helpful.
A good listener would be good to know.  Then we can have long talks about all kinds of things and never be bored with one another.

Also I would look for a good sense of humour.  Very important point that Ms. Jane Doe has a very solid sense of humour.  After all, what is life about if we can not sit back and laugh at the whole absurd dance we do.

Now there remains a few minor details to be worked out later, but nothing of a major kind.

Oh yes kind, considerate and understanding,

with a great capacity for compassionan & empathy.

Well that just about covers my partner checklist.

Thanks for checking out my blog.

Sincerely,

Howard S. Buchin